evocates | sean/viggo: monologues for two [24/?]

Sorry for the f-list flood, ahhh. Please don't kill me. My planning skills suck. /buries face in hands.

Title: monologues for two [24/?] (Part 1-22, Part 23)
Authors:

noalinnea and

evocates
Pairing: Viggo Mortensen/Sean Bean. In this chapter, mentions of past Melanie Hill/ Sean Bean. Also Miranda Otto appears!
Rating: G
Words: ~2500
Disclaimer: Didn't happen, just a product of imagination!
Summary: Viggo and Miranda have a conversation. Still dialogue-only.

"Viggo? You've got a minute?"

"Hm? Actually I was about to-" [Sighs] "What's up?"

"You're not busy? Good. C'mon, have dinner with me because otherwise I get dragged off by Karl and have to see him get naked in a bar again."

"What? You promised you would look after him when I left!' [Pause] "I'm not sure if I'm good company tonight, Mir. Tomorrow?"

"Bernard was in charge." [Footsteps] "That's precisely why I want you to have dinner with me."

"Because you enjoy exceptionally bad company on a Thursday?"

[Laughter] "Sure, if that's what gets your ass moving."

[Sighs] "Fine. I'll drive. Where do you want to go?" [Car door opening]

"You mind if we get takeout and go over to your place?"

"Sounds good. If you promise to cover me with a blanket and let yourself out if I fall asleep during dinner." [Car doors closing. Engine starting]

"I'd promise to carry you to bed but I don't think my arms can take it."

[Chuckles] "I can simply try not to fall asleep on you."

"That would be the best option, yes."

"I'll try. Indian? Or that little Chinese place?"

"Chinese sounds great."

"Chinese it is, then." [Pause. Sounds of the car. Yawns] "God, I really am tired."

"I can drive, you know."

"If you don't mind? I didn't get enough sleep."

"Yeah, I can tell." [Door opening] "Move over." [Door closing]

[Shuffling. Door opening] "There." [Door closing] "Thanks."

"You're welcome." [Pause] "Do you want to tell me why you couldn't sleep?"

"I don't know." [Long pause] "I always end up spending half the nights on the phone. Henry is coming on Saturday and I had to talk over some stuff with Exene." [Pause] "And Sean, of course."

[Sounds of engine starting] "Something happened with Sean?"

"No, we're--or--" [Swallows] "Sort of."

"Wait, don't tell me about this now. Tell me while we're eating."

"Mmh. Maybe."

[Teasing:] "Will that turn into a 'sure' if I buy you dinner?"

[Weary]: "I'm not sure if it's a good idea to talk about it."

"Now that's a first."

"I just-" [Sighs] "Maybe it's going to make things worse if I talk about it."

"Ohh... kay... That's a hundred-eighty if I've ever heard of one. What did Sean say?"

"He- he hung up on me in the middle of the call- because- it hurt too much to keep talking to me, I think."

"Well, that's perfectly understandable."

"It is." [Pause] "Doesn't make it any easier, though."

"No, it doesn't." [Pause] "Is that why you can't sleep?"

"It'll probably be why I won't sleep tonight. But- I've just been- thinking a lot. I thought I'd tell Henry about Sean when he's here. But I'm not sure if it's a good idea."

"Why not?" [Car slowing down] "Hey, what do you want? I'll order."

"Just soup and some vegetables and noodles."

"Got it." [Open door, close door]

[Shuffling. Sighs]

[Open door, close door] "Did you fall asleep on me?"

"Mh." [Yawns. Skin rubbing over skin] "Almost. What did you get?"

"Eggdrop soup, dumplings, vegetables, and chow mein. That alright?"

"Sounds great. Give me the bag, I'll hold it." [Rustling of plastic] "I think I have a bottle of wine at home, too."

"Wine with Chinese?" [Giggles] "Sounds restaurant-grade already."

"Well, my place certainly doesn't look like a restaurant..."

"I don't know, maybe if you clean it up a bit, put in some amber lights..."

[Snorts] "Amber lights, Mir? Really? I thought I knew you better than that!"

"Oh come on! Most restaurants always have these dim, romantic lights that makes it really hard to see your food."

"We can switch off the lights if you prefer not to see your food. Might help with the chaos, too."

"I want my food to go into my mouth, Viggo. Not my nose."

"Psh. Boring details."

"You consider not eating with your nose a boring detail? Only you, Vig."

[Chuckles] "I and most children in the world, probably."

Says something about your maturity level, doesn't it?" [Laughing]

"I'd say about my philosophy."

"True enough. Hey, do I take a left or right turn here?"

"Left. And then right again. Mm, this really smells good, doesn't it?"

"No nicking!"

"Then hurry up, woman! I'm starving."

"Yes, yes!" [Laughter, sounds of car speeding up]

[Laughter] "Hungry, too, hm?"

"Nah, just don't want you to keep whining."

"I'll be quiet when there's food in my mouth!" [Laughs] "No, you know that's not true."

"Now that's just making me think odd things."

"Hm? Excuse me? What does that make you think of?"

"Uh uh. I'm not saying them." [Car slowing down] "We're here, by the way. If you somehow stopped being able to recognise your house."

"Something dirty. I'm sure. You're always thinking about something dirty." [Cackles] "Let's go."

"Excuse me, I don't actually have a gutter mind!"

"Oh, but you don't have the mind of a lady either!" [Car door opening]

[Car door opening] "Having one of those is boring."

[Shift. Rustling of plastic] "I couldn't agree with you more, my dear." [Car door closing]

[Slam of car door closing] "I'm sorry to say, Viggo, but you'll never be a lady."

[Footsteps. Clinking of keys] "That's quite okay, I like being able to pee while I'm standing upright." [Keys turning in lock]

[Laughter] "That's the only thing you can think of?"

"Certainly not." [Door opening.Shuffling] "But I don't want to make you blush."

"As if anything you said would make me blush." [Beat] "What is it about you and your hatred of shoes, seriously?"

"It's not hatred of shoes but concern for my feet." [Door closing] "And I have Skandinavian roots, entering a home with shoes makes me twitch."

"So what gave you those cheekbones of yours also gave you perpetually bare feet?" [Laughing]

[Chuckles] "One could say that. I just used to call him dad, though. Less complicated."

"True!" [Crinkling of plastic] "You want to get out your wine?"

"Yes. Carry on to the living room, I'll go get the bottle." [Pause] "There might be stuff on the table, though... Just- wait, I'll be right there." [Footsteps disappearing]

"What do you mean, stuff? I can't see your table!" [Laughing] "I'm waiting."

[Footsteps returning. Laughter. Clinking of glasses.] "I'm sorry, I wasn't expecting company. Wait." [Bottle being set down.] "Let me just-" [Rustling of fabric] "My lady, would you mind having a picnic on the floor? Here, take a sofa cushion, too."

"I feel wined and dined already." [Glasses clinking, plastic crinkling] "Though, picnicking indoors sound rather exotic. Counterintuitive, but productive."

"Well, necessity is the mother of invention. Do you want another cushion? And give me your glass." [Wine being poured]

"My butt is well taken care of, thank you."

"I certainly hope so, I don't want you to tell people that I make you sit on the bare floor when you're coming over for dinner."

"I don't know. You can probably excuse it as giving me some sort of tantric exercise or something."

"Mmh. Making you get in touch with the earth, maybe." [Pause] "Thanks, Mir, I really appreciate this. It's exactly what I needed tonight."

"Don't worry about it. This is a better alternative than getting drunk with the guys." [Chuckles] "Anyway, you want to talk about it?"

[Pause] "I think I do. Although it might be smarter to just let go and try not to think about it."

"That works for some people. I don't think it does for you."

"No, it doesn't." [Sighs] "I don't even know where to start."

"How about you tell me what you guys were talking about before this subject came up?"

"Before he hung up? It was a strange call, actually-- I was asleep and he had been talking to his ex-wife and- somehow thought that he should tell me more often about what's going on in his head- and then we talked about Henry and ended up fighting, or almost fighting- and then things got very emotional and he couldn't stand it and just- dropped the phone onto the floor, I think. God, you sure you want to hear about this?"

"I wouldn't have asked if I don't want to." [Pause] "You might want to make yourself clearer, though."

"In what respect?"

"From everything you just said, I think I only understood the last sentence."

"Problem is that it's the same mess in my head." [Sighs] "It started because I'm worried that Henry will take it badly if I tell him about Sean."

"... Yeah? And why would he? Because Sean is a man?"

"No. But maybe because Sean isn't his mom. I really don't know."

"You know, it would be immensely disturbing if Sean was Henry's mom. Just saying."

"You know what I mean. There never has been anybody before whom we have introduced to him, neither of us ever has. I have no idea how he'll feel about this."

"I'm not a parent, so I can't give you very good advice, but... you know, do you ever know anyone's reaction for sure?"

"Of course not. And there is no other way of finding out how he'll react than to just tell him, I know that. But it's not an easy decision. I don't want to him to get hurt, again, because his mother and I suck at stable relationships."

"Do you two, really?"

"Well, we couldn't stand living with each other any more. And he just had to find a way to deal with that. I don't- I really don't want to mess his life up any further."

"I don't think it's messing up his life, Vig. You keep thinking that, and you're going to walk around eggshells around him forever. Henry's teenager by now, right? He's grown up enough to realise that his parents aren't perfect- or, more precisely, that his parents don't always fit his image of them. You know what I mean?"

"Yeah. And of course he knows that we're not perfect. But that won't prevent him from getting hurt by either of us. And that's what I'm afraid of." [Pause] "Maybe the question is if I think that Sean and I- that it's important enough to tell him."

[Long pause. Slurping sound] "I... would think that's the more important part."

"Probably." [Pause. Quietly:] "I love him."

"I'm hearing a 'but' with how you're not eating."

"But I'm not sure if we can make this work long-distance."

"Are you both trying to?"

"Yeah, that is not the problem. I want this and I'm sure that he does, too. But- it's just so- well, painful, I guess."

"It probably sounds and feels horrible, but I think it's just to be expected. I don't think people are made for long-distance things."

"No. Or at least I am not." [Pause] "Fuck. This is insane. How can you hurt like this because you're in love? I should be happy---"

"Oh come on now, Viggo. You know better than that."

"I know. Of course I know--- but-" [Softly:] "I'm crazily in love with him, Mir, I want this to work."

"I think both of you want this to work, so that's half the battle's won, yeah?"

"Or so one would think." [Sighs] "Look, I know there's no other way right now than for us to be apart, and I know that these things are difficult and painful. And of course, the important part is that we both want this. We do, and we are going to see each other eventually and it's going to be fine. I know all that. But it- it doesn't help with the pain. Not yet. First I have to learn how to be without him again."

"What's 'second'?"

"What? Nothing is second. What I meant was that we both have to try and find a way to deal with this- And if we can, it's going to be fine. And if we can't--" [Pause] "I'd much rather assume that we can."

"No, what I mean is- you're focusing on trying to erase that pain, Viggo, but that's impossible. I'm asking for step two, because that is the way to deal with it, and you can only deal with step one when you've got a step two."

"I'm not trying to erase the pain, that won't do. I'm trying to wield it into something I can live with. And that's step two, if you want. To be able to accept the fact that he's not there when I wake up without feeling this kind of pain. And that will take time, and some days it'll be better, some days it'll be worse, I know. I've been there before. But right now it's tearing me apart." [Pause] "It's been years since I have let anybody come that close and that alone is something I have to get used to again."

"Will he be coming over soon?"

"No. He won't be able to come before shooting wraps."

"Seriously? Damn."

"Yeah. And there's nothing I can do either. It's not as if Peter is going to let me fly to London."

"No, I mean, are you sure Sean can't really come earlier? It looks like it's killing you, and him too."

"He's orking, too. He's going to Berlin soon for some new project. And I think he really needs to spend some time with his daughters. It would be very selfish of me to try and interfere with any of that."

"Now stop that. You can't beat yourself up for having entirely human desires, you know, or else you start feeling like a martyr in a relationship and that's unhealthy."

"He knows how much I miss him, I told him. And that is what he said, that he won't be able to make it before shooting ends. That's just how it is. I'm not going to try and press him and make him decide between seeing me and seeing his kids, Mir, not ever. His youngest is just a little over a year. They need him in London. Having to wait for him to come see me will hardly kill me."

"Will it kill him?"

[Long pause. Swallows hard. Hoarsely]: "I don't know. I know he's struggling with this, too, but I don't know how difficult this really is for him. But I think- I think it's much harder for him then he lets on, he- he doesn't talk in epic bredth about his feelings. But before he hung up on me- god, I wish I could be there with him, I-" [Shaky breath] "Shit. I hate this."

[Shift, rustle. Crinkling of cloth]

[Muffled] : "I'm sorry, I- god, Mir, I'm sorry."

"Shhh, don't worry about it. You need to get it out, right?"

[Muffled]: "Shit."

"Hey, what's this swearing for?"

"For crying into your nice sweater."

"Well, I'll send my dry cleaning bill to you if you mind that much."

[Sighs] "Gimme a second."

"Alright."

[Deep breath] "Thanks. It's okay."

"Don't worry about it. Do you feel better?"

[Soft chuckle] "A little. Look, no more tears."

"Good. Can't have puffy eyes for Aragorn, right?" [Quiet laugh] "C'mon, eat something."

tbc

sean/viggo: monologues for two [24/?]

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