So, I'll just comment over here instead of via email, okay :)?
There was a man with Jesus inked on his chest and stars on his shoulders and knees, and for those signs the vory v zakone in Britain had named him Judas.
Like I said before, I really like the storytelling in this, and it starts with the first sentence. This kind of fairy tile like feeling, and at the same time the theme in this is all to real and yet detached - like Nikolai is telling this story about himself while feeling like a stranger in his own skin. The very first sentence sets the tone of this entire story, of how Nikolai is kind of done with this world and trying to make his peace with it, and at the same time (and maybe because of this) he feels lost, feels drifting, without purpose.
Throughout this, there is this excellent justaposition between, e.g. eloquence and not knowing what to say, between seeing things and being able to name them and not knowing what to do with them.
Putting all of his backstory into an inner monologue, and one that feels so much like an omniscient narrator's pov could have backfired, could have felt like way too much exposition. It doesn't here because Nikolai is TRYING to be BE this kind of narrator, even if only for himself, because this is the only way he knows how to get along in the world; relying only on himself.
Out of the corner of his eyes, a shadow slowly approached him in the shape of a man.
This is kind of really beautiful and the perfect introduction of how / who Cowboy is - I like that he has something sinister to him, and that this is probably the one thing drawing Nikolai to him the most; like darkness has always been his destination, his purpose, and even here, even when he wants to find peace (and finds it in the end) it is there in the darkness, not the light, where he finds it.
“It is description. Not name.”
“It is my name,” said Cowboy again,
I like the cryptic nature of all of their conversations which - at the same time - are so very clear and eloquent. Again, it is light a constant interchanging between the brightest light (in this case: the very clearly phrased thoughts and ideas - and it makes sense, a name being something individual, and identity with it's own worth, whereas a description, a purpose is so much more... shadow-y) and the darkest darkness (in this case: the kind of cryptic nature of their words). Love it.
Yuri’s orders were different, he thought, because it was Yuri who followed Nikolai, really; followed him and tried to pick up the pieces of Nikolai’s shattered self as he shed them with every step he took into the world of the vor.
Love that description. It's heartbreaking.
Cowboy cocked his head to the side, an overlarge raven with too-bright eyes. Nikolai laughed even harder, his gasps loud in the still night air.
LOVE this. Cowboy stays not only mysterious but potentially dangerous, and it's what draws Nikolai to him, whether he wants to or not.
“Why not?” Cowboy smiled, the corners of his eyes crinkling up again. “I don’t have it very often, no. Only with someone special.”
I'm still pondering about this bit, the entire scene there really. Because when I first read it I was frowning a bit as I read - we've talked about things that are said outright, like "someone special" and how there's always the danger of cheapening something, of words just being WORDS, if that makes sense. And I kind of liked how their encounter up to this point seemed dream like and un-rea, like everything of this is maybe just taking place in Nikolai's mind; whereas this here is so very REAL and physical and direct. But on the other hand, I kind of like how abrput this is, how this maybe makes Cowboy even more dangerous, predatory even, even if Nikolai doesn't see it like that... I still have to think about it, but you know what I mean?
(Ack, I gotta go - need to buy paint and my sis and my mom are waiting already... BBL)
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There was a man with Jesus inked on his chest and stars on his shoulders and knees, and for those signs the vory v zakone in Britain had named him Judas.
Like I said before, I really like the storytelling in this, and it starts with the first sentence. This kind of fairy tile like feeling, and at the same time the theme in this is all to real and yet detached - like Nikolai is telling this story about himself while feeling like a stranger in his own skin. The very first sentence sets the tone of this entire story, of how Nikolai is kind of done with this world and trying to make his peace with it, and at the same time (and maybe because of this) he feels lost, feels drifting, without purpose.
Throughout this, there is this excellent justaposition between, e.g. eloquence and not knowing what to say, between seeing things and being able to name them and not knowing what to do with them.
Putting all of his backstory into an inner monologue, and one that feels so much like an omniscient narrator's pov could have backfired, could have felt like way too much exposition. It doesn't here because Nikolai is TRYING to be BE this kind of narrator, even if only for himself, because this is the only way he knows how to get along in the world; relying only on himself.
Out of the corner of his eyes, a shadow slowly approached him in the shape of a man.
This is kind of really beautiful and the perfect introduction of how / who Cowboy is - I like that he has something sinister to him, and that this is probably the one thing drawing Nikolai to him the most; like darkness has always been his destination, his purpose, and even here, even when he wants to find peace (and finds it in the end) it is there in the darkness, not the light, where he finds it.
“It is description. Not name.”
“It is my name,” said Cowboy again,
I like the cryptic nature of all of their conversations which - at the same time - are so very clear and eloquent. Again, it is light a constant interchanging between the brightest light (in this case: the very clearly phrased thoughts and ideas - and it makes sense, a name being something individual, and identity with it's own worth, whereas a description, a purpose is so much more... shadow-y) and the darkest darkness (in this case: the kind of cryptic nature of their words). Love it.
Yuri’s orders were different, he thought, because it was Yuri who followed Nikolai, really; followed him and tried to pick up the pieces of Nikolai’s shattered self as he shed them with every step he took into the world of the vor.
Love that description. It's heartbreaking.
Cowboy cocked his head to the side, an overlarge raven with too-bright eyes. Nikolai laughed even harder, his gasps loud in the still night air.
LOVE this. Cowboy stays not only mysterious but potentially dangerous, and it's what draws Nikolai to him, whether he wants to or not.
“Why not?” Cowboy smiled, the corners of his eyes crinkling up again. “I don’t have it very often, no. Only with someone special.”
I'm still pondering about this bit, the entire scene there really. Because when I first read it I was frowning a bit as I read - we've talked about things that are said outright, like "someone special" and how there's always the danger of cheapening something, of words just being WORDS, if that makes sense. And I kind of liked how their encounter up to this point seemed dream like and un-rea, like everything of this is maybe just taking place in Nikolai's mind; whereas this here is so very REAL and physical and direct. But on the other hand, I kind of like how abrput this is, how this maybe makes Cowboy even more dangerous, predatory even, even if Nikolai doesn't see it like that... I still have to think about it, but you know what I mean?
(Ack, I gotta go - need to buy paint and my sis and my mom are waiting already... BBL)