he's very aware of his own traits, but when it comes to what he does with other people, and how other people react to him, especially in the context of a relationship - he's actively oblivious. I don't know how well that came through. /squints.

Oh, I really like how you put this. It's like that exactly to me, and that is SO fascinating because it makes him so intensly egocentric without portraying him outright as the bad guy, the horribly egoistical one. Because it makes a difference whether he is (as you so aptly put it) actively oblivious, or whether he knows perfectly well what he's doing but just doesn't CARE. Maybe the difference isn't a big one, but it is terribly important.